thank yous, sorrys, i love yous

thank you angel.
thank you for taking care of me that fateful night.

thank you mel.
thank you for coming all the way down from rouge just to find me in the sorriest state.

i dont know why i didnt control my intake.
i dont know why i cant stop bawling.
i dont know why i called so many of you.
i dont know what i said to all of you.
i dont know when messages begin to expose themselves.
i dont know why i did it in the first place.

im sorry angel.
sorry for ruining a night out. your night out.
sorry for puking on you.
sorry for putting you in a spot you never wanted to be.

im sorry mel.
sorry for making you abandon rouge.
sorry for babbling whatever to you.
sorry that i can truly tell you how i feel, only when im drunk.

i love you all.

****

im sorry.
i dont know what happened.
i dont know why i did it.
i still love you. alot.
be strong.
we will get through this.